your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
