when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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