I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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