is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
