another moral hangover. fuck.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize