Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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