Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
