Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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