$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
