So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
