If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
