I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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