I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
