i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
