I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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