That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You can't just leave with hair like that
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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