I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
