i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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