we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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