new low.... made out with someone while peeing
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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