How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
