Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
