i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
