the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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