And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
