Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize