awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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