Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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