How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
