Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
