You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
did i walk over a car last night?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
