so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
