So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
