508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
