Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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