my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Buhtt sex?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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