Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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