high people should be assigned attendants
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
