I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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