he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize