Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
MIDGETS
????
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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