apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
