dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
