My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
