Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
