Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
