Say something about gay babies.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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