I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
