Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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