shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
