He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
