i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
