I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
