He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
