My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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