I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
