omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
