i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
