some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
