I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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