Only a mothe r could love this liver
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
where am i from again
I looked at my own cervix.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
