WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
ugly people sure do ruin things
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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