Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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