Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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